Words are hard! We struggle so much with miscommunication yet we have the tools we need to avoid it yet it still is a problem.
- Be quick to think but slow to react. In other words, take the time to think on what is communicated and don't jump to quickly to rash conclusions.
- Ask question to clarify if you are not sure.
- Keep in mind the audience can form a different opinion than the speaker/writer is trying to convey, and that is ok.
In social media it seems that one person can convey an idea and the social mob can misinterpret that and condemn the originator for saying something that was never intended. It seems that the electronic tools we have on the internet get abused and it changes how we are forced to use them differently than intended. For example a video blogger uploads his videos. His comment section is there to help him build a community audience. But if something considered controversial by a few is discussed in a video, it sets off an avalanche of hate post that the channel owner is forced to turn off the comment feature all together.
One of the things I found out about literature a long time ago is that a group of people can read the same thing and it is possible that each person gets something different from it. I discovered this concept in an English literature class. We all read the same short stories but when it was discussed in class it seems that there were wildly differing opinions about what we got out of it. Our professor pointed out that even with our differing views, its possible that not one of our views will ever match what the writers intended when they wrote the story. But literature like art, is in the eye of the beholder. The only thing the writer can hope is that is some way, an audience reads. The rest is on the reader to do with what they read, or choose put the book down and walk away if they don't like it. Before the internet people would say if you don't like what is on TV, then change the channel. The same should be said about social media, if you don't like what is said then go to a different video and allow algorithms adjust to show you content you like. Most entertainer win if you react. The more attention their "words" get, good or bad, gets more focus time, and in an advert laced society, possibly more money.
I heard of famous comedian Andy Kaufman. When he was on stage to perform, the things he would do, like reading from The Great Gadsby, would irritate his audience to the point that the audience would boo, hiss and throw things at him. He was considered more of an antagonist of his audience than an ally. When he was asked why he did things that way he explained that as a comedian his job wasn't to make the audience happy and laugh, his job was to get a reaction. His audience reacted by launching produce and beer bottles at his head.
Literature has a somewhat hidden audience. An author's best metric is how many books are sold. In social media there is an instant feedback mechanism so that the part of an audience with the loudest voice tends to be heard. TV and other forms of non-internet media never had such a closed loop feedback system. In all mediums you can and likely will have a different opinion and that is ok. You enjoy your opinion, that is part of the entertainment value. You don't necessarily need to understand or like what the author meant to say.
But when you try to convey a specific idea, being misunderstood can be problematic.
So now I will tell you a personal story of miscommunication that has continued for most of my life that if it was understood correctly would have had a different impact on how I view myself. For 50 years I have been hearing the same stories of my birth from my mom and dad. But some things never seem to add up. I was conceived on my parents 2 day honeymoon Feb 22-23 and I was born on Sept.20 as a 5 lb. baby. If you do the math that is 30 weeks. A normal birth is 40 weeks. So I was born 10 weeks premature. But I was sent home from the hospital with my parents only after 3 days in the hospital. The hospital did not treat me as a preemie. I have had many friends and family that have done the math in their head and insist that I was conceived illegitimately. But my parents are adamant that they did not have relations before marriage. As my parents tell the story I was born "early" but they never used the word "premature". So for years I accepted what they said because even if things were much different, I'm still here and not much changes.
There were other stories of the time around when I was born but never seemed to be much of a connection other than my parents dealing with the early stages of their marriage. My mom even shared one story of riding on the back of a dirt bike with my dad while she was pregnant with me. I would think it must have been early in the pregnancy and to me it sounded a bit of a irresponsible act while pregnant but if nothing happened then no big deal, right.
It happened to come up in conversation one more time between me and my brother recently. So I decided to question my mom one more time and I was able to connect the dots between some bad story telling from my parents over the years.
To me if a baby was born early that would be a week or two before the due date. Technically a baby is considered full term between 37 - 40 weeks. So week 37,38 and 39 are early, week 40 is on time and after week forty is late. Anything prior to week 37 is premature but does not mean its bad for the baby. I researched and found that at 30 weeks an infant has a 99 percent chance of survival with no lasting health effects from it but the baby is usually kept in hospital for some time in NICU to make sure.
So it is very possible I was a Preemie but my parents would use the word "early" instead of "premature". When I questioned my mom, that story about the motor cycle turns out was when she was 30 weeks pregnant and the off road ride caused her water to break. When my mom and dad went to the hospital the doctors decided to deliver me. Because I was not full term size I came out pretty easily.
So finally connecting all the dots gives me a new perspective of my parents. One that makes more sense than any other views I have ever held. My parents were reckless and careless in decision making as new parents that could have gravely affected my life. But those decisions came from a kind of stupidity that continued in their attempts to share the truth. My parents completely believed they were telling me the truth but the choice of one word conveyed a different meaning to their audience than what they imagined.
Don't get me wrong, I forgive my parents. But the perspective that I gain by knowing my parents made dumb decisions when I was born and continued making dumb decisions that made me and my brothers life more difficult than it needed to be growing up helps me to come to terms with some things in my life. I only wish I had this perspective earlier in life I may have made different decisions myself. If I only understood...